i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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