Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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