I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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