Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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