So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
