Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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