I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
