Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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