the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
so much tequila, so little girl.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
God, I missed his penis.
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