dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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