dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it because I queefed?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
