i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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