I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
