i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
