before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
