No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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