Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
