dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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