I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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