Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
