You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My dick has a subreddit
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
