Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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