It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Hello my rib-scented angel!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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