It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
