Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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