If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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