I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
