No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
