It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
