Plan B is the new Plan A
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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