sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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