you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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