Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
