were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
