I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
