You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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