well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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