someone get that fucking seahorse.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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