I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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