No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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