so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
