i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
