I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
