If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
