it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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