he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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