dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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