OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
