Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
