my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
