Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I should be sponsored by Trojan
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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