I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
