i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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