By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
