Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
