Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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