I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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